Football is football, unless it's football

Yesterday the (rest of) the world and I watched our planet's Super Bowl, the World Cup final game. I had to TIVO it, which caused me to miss most of the overtime and all of the penalty kicks. Therefore, unfortunately, I was forced to catch the rest courtesy of "The Worldwide Leader in Sports". This worldwide leader then felt the need to replay Zidane's headbutt 50,000 times*, but only showed the real goals from the game once. By the way, Worldwide Leader, it's pronounced Zi-Don, not Zi-Dain. Also, you may want to send a memo to your #1 color commentator during the World Cup. The English captain's name is not David Beckman, Ian Beckman, or Michael Beckham**, it is rather David Beckham. Your memory may not be very good where he was concerned, but you certainly were able to identify his wife every time she was shown on TV, including her Spice Girls nickname, and a brief synopsis of her "musical" career. He even had a favorite Spice Girls song!
*Which, admittedly, kicked ass
**Honest truth. He used all of those names during the England/Paraguay first round match



My point is this: the 5.7 billion other people in the world who care about football don't make fun of Americans for not appreciating the game. They don't even make fun of us for watching NASCAR. However, whenever you bring up "soccer" in this country to someone who doesn't appreciate it, you immediately just signed yourself up for a 30 minute argument where your opponent's main point is "There ain't enuff scoring". Stop being ignorant. I'm sorry, but I think even a soccer match between two German teams I've never heard of is about 50 times more exciting than a.) baseball and b.)NASCAR.

This sporting haughtiness is what caused ESPN to treat the most exciting sporting month of the decade with just the same respect as they show for the Lumberjack Games.